Wow. Pretty tough stuff. Poor Shouichi, you really captured how much he suffers so well, especially in the dialogues with Byakuran and Tsuna.

My absolute favorite line has to be: "You’re not meant to die… you’re meant to heal." I have to admit that I squealed a bit as I read it (twice too).

I agree with Ekmisao in that your history doesn't differ too much from the chapter. I really enjoyed your version. You captured everyone so well and made them all really powerful.