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SO HEY GUYS, 'SUP.
By now everyone's probably heard about OneManga shutting down. I'M NOT REALLY WORRIED, since scanlators have been doing their thing since way before OM and its ilk became popular (even in the worst case scenario, they could just go back to distributing new chapters over IRC like in the olden days), buuuut I am kind of ORZ WHYYYY about it because I'm going to have to edit out all the links in my old chapter write-ups. And then the odds are good that whatever links I edit in will eventually go down as well. SO IT BEGINS... THE GREAT BATTLE OF OUR TIME.Really, I'm just waiting for the manga industry to finally catch on to the fact that online scans are THE WAY OF THE FUTURE!, and set up a subscription or ad-supported site (or maybe like an iTunes sort of thing) where fans could read new chapters legally without having to wait months for them to be released in their own countries (if the series are even licensed where they live in the first place). Until then, whatever.
ANYWAY, I SHOULD SHUT UP AND START BABBLING ABOUT KHR 299 NOW. Ignore the contradiction there.
1. WHAT A WEIRD LITTLE ANGLE WE'VE GOT GOING ON HERE. Amano, are you trying to give your readers neck problems? Anyway, some person who shops at the same store as Lal Mirch is apparently strolling up to the castle which the Vongola family rented and then proceeded to destroy. LEAVES ARE BLOWING OMINOUSLY. THE OPENING TEXT IS DOING THAT "...!" THING. Man, you know shit's about to go down.
And now we return to the castle's interior, where the whole of the Vongola family that isn't tenth-generation is standing around and shouting at Tsuna and co. to HANG IN THERE!!! while not actually doing a damned thing to help them out. Because we all know that if you shout at an injured person loudly enough they will magically get better.
Apparently that actually does work if you're Hibari, though. Because he's fine, you guys. EXCEPT FOR HIS PRIDE. Which, holy shit, he actually said. I don't know why, but that line somehow struck me as like the least Hibari-like thing anyone could possibly say. "ARE YOU HURT?" "JUST MY PRIDE!" HAHAHA, WHAT.
2. Strangely enough, while I don't really feel the slightest bit of sympathy for Hibari (sob, it's not like I dislike the guy, it's just... he was so overdue for a good thorough ass-kicking and pride-bruising. IT'S CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT, HE CAN SUCK IT UP), I'm just like, "NOOOOO MY POOR BABIES" for the other guardians. Possibly because they're all being so noble and wincing-yes-I'm-injured-but-it's-not-important-don't-worry-about-me! about the whole thing. Gokudera adorably reverted to his default "TENTH TENTH ARE YOU OKAY DON'T WORRY ABOUT ME TENTH" mode in his weakened and confused state, which of course only made me sadface for them more.
"Who could have known they were planning something like this?" Oh, Ryohei. In the interests of letting you and the others preserve what little dignity you have left, I'm not going to answer that.
3. Apparently Tsuna's the only one who noticed that CHROME WAS FUCKING KIDNAPPED, because no one explodes into a panic about it until he mentions it. Which is hilarious, but in a really pathetic way. The Ninth says his guardians are on the job, which means in all likelihood we'll probably never see her again. :(
Seriously, he's barely gotten the words out of his mouth before Ganauche comes running in and is all, "BAD NEWS, WE FUCKED UPPPPPPPP." And this is the golden part: NOTICE HOW THE NINTH IS LITERALLY THE ONLY ONE WHO'S EVEN SURPRISED. Everyone else is just like, "Goddamn it." Because they've already realized that the Nonos are collectively about as useful as something really not useful.
...I hope Coyote's not dead or anything, though. IS IT EVEN POSSIBLE TO KILL A MAN NAMED COYOTE NOUGAT? A month ago, I'd have said nay, but it's a different world we're living in these days.
4. Immediately after discovering that his guardians were useless, the Ninth proceeds to go into INEFFECTIVE LEADER MODE, ordering everyone else to stand down because something something we have no balls. Then Reborn reminds everyone that DUDES, WE GOT NO RINGS, and they're like, ohhhhh yeahhhh. Reborn then goes on to speculate that if Tsuna and his guardians were defeated, the rest of them likely stand no chance, which actually makes sense, unlike Nono's logic of "If Coyote was defeated the rest us likely stand no chance." Seriously, Coyote couldn't defeat his own shadow.
5. Nono points out that this is all technically his fault, which I can't really argue with. And so everyone's just standing around despairing, BUT WAIT! WHAT'S THIS??
WHY, IT'S 50YL!LUSSURIA, WHO AS PREVIOUSLY MENTIONED SHOPS AT LAL MIRCH'S HOBO STORE, AND HAS ALSO SEEMINGLY FILCHED CUTHBERT'S LITTLE BIRD SKULL FROM THE DARK TOWER SERIES. I LIKE THIS GUY. Also, he called the Ninth old. I REALLY LIKE THIS GUY. Also his name is Talbot, and he was late to the ceremony because he was taking care of his sheep. THERE ARE NO WORDS FOR HOW MUCH I FUCKING LOVE THIS FUCKING GUY.
ETA: I would just like to credit
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felinaofl2 for my shiny new hobo voodoo dude tag. XD There has never been a more apt description of someone.6. After explaining what a metal craftsman is for the benefit of all the Ryoheis in the world, Reborn explains that he's a mysterious guy who's been working for the Vongola since the Primo's time, which makes him approximately a billion years old, HA HA NO I'M JUST KIDDING. He's only like. A hundred and fifty-something. Um.
Talbot examines the rings and states the obvious, and then offhandedly mentions that he knows all about the Shimon rings, so JUST WHEN YOU THOUGHT THERE COULDN'T BE ANYONE MORE USELESS THAN THE NONOS, here he is to prove you wrong! Anyway, apparently the Vongola rings are still "alive", which is something of a relief not because I wanted them to be reforged (I had actually been excited about potentially getting new power-ups ;_;), but because they're part of the goddamn tri-ni-sette and we only spent THE ENTIRE LAST ARC talking about how important these damned things were and how they CREATED THE WORLD OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT??, so it would kind of suck if they just got oops-destroyed and that was the end of that. Especially since the Vongola have no one from ten years ago to time travel to this point and undo their stupid mistake this time around.
7. ...apparently the "alive" thing wasn't a shounen metaphor. They're like literally alive. THERE ARE SPIRITS DWELLING WITHIN THEM. This is quickly becoming weird.
Anyway, it's pretty cute how the second Talbot says the f-word (FIXED, I mean. FIXED), Tsuna and the guardians' faces all light up like it's Christmas. Aww. |D
And there will be upgrades after all! CALLOOH CALLAY.
8. DAAAAAMN, THIS GUY'S GOT A WHOLE ARTILLERY HIDDEN UNDER HIS HOBO CAPE. COMPLETE WITH ANOTHER VIAL OF BLOOD. It's like the Vongola are doing that space station thing and collecting all of their favorite DNA so that they can clone them someday in the distant future. WHICH REMINDS ME, TSUNA, I FORGOT TO TELL YOU, BUT YOUR VONGOLA BLOOD TEST IS SCHEDULED FOR MONDAY. THERE'S NOTHING SHADY OR SUSPICIOUS ABOUT THIS, I PROMISE. IT'S JUST AN ORDINARY, RUN-OF-THE-MILL BLOOD TEST OKAY.
The Ninth reasonably asks why Talbot is carrying around Primo's blood, and Talbot answers "IDK", which just proves that he really does work for the Vongola. Then he says that while he can restore the rings, there's a 50-50 chance that they'll be destroyed in the process. THEN EVERYBODY ASKS TSUNA TO DECIDE WHAT TO DO, because whenever there's a terrible fate-of-the-world choice to be made let's always ask Tsuna. Poor, poor Tsuna.
But of course, Tsuna makes the decision of LET'S DO THIS, which is why we love him. As always, when his friends' safety is on the line, he doesn't hesitate. You're the man, Tsuna. And I never thought I'd say this, because I do want you to be happy even if that means being a normal boring kid, but PLEASE PLEASE TAKE THE JOB OF TENTH BOSS AND SPARE US FROM ANY MORE OF THE NINTH'S HORRIBLE DECISION-MAKING. If I never have to see that guy flail around in an ineffectual panic again, it'll be too soon.
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