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These are all masterpieces.
This is something I snagged from ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif){kind=small}
cleartempest millions of years ago. It's called the Drabble-Matic and is basically like madlibs for bad fanfiction. I came across it while I was cleaning out my bookmarks, and proceeded to have FUN LIKE YOU WOULD NOT BELIEVE. THIS THING IS AMAZING.DRABBLE THE FIRST:
A Pants In Time
On an ironic and forceful morning, Wall sat in a candy shop. It was Valentine's Day and he was all alone. His nose ached in sorrow for the secret love that he could never share. How could he expect Yamamoto to love someone with an erotic tendon?
Numbly, he began to recite a poem he had composed. "Ah, my love is like a quivering glistening pineapple, all on a summer's day. I wish my Yamamoto would pound me, in his own bakaotic* way..."
"Do you?" Yamamoto sat down beside Wall and put his hand on Wall's elbow. "I think that could be arranged."
Wall gasped sulkily. "But what about my erotic tendon?"
"I like it," Yamamoto said cheekily. "I think it's suspicious."
They came together and their kiss was like an exploding famous landmark in a Michael Bay movie.
"I love you," Wall said mercilessly.
"I love you too," Yamamoto replied and vaporized him.
They bought a chihuahua, moved in together, and lived enticingly ever after.
*Aarika, I'm sorry. XD
DRABBLE THE SECOND:
Sextastic Lang Syne
Gokudera sipped soothingly at his drink and stood sextastic behind a bean. He wasn't sure why he had come to this New Year's Eve party in the first place. He was no good at parties anyhow. They always made him feel slimming and he ended up like he was now, hiding and hoping nobody noticed how bracing his heel got when he was nervous.
Well, truth be told, Gokudera knew very well why he was at the party: to see Haru.
Ah, Haru. Just the thought of her, the chance of a glimpse of her peculiar ear made Gokudera's heart beat like an army of ravenous zombies hell-bent on devouring mankind.
But tonight everyone was masked. Gokudera peered lustily through the crowd, trying to guess which guest was Haru. There, he thought, the woman over by the bottle cap, the impish one with the bear mask. It had to be Haru. No one else could look so colorful, even in a bear mask.
She began to walk Gokudera's way and Gokudera started to panic. What if she actually talked to Gokudera?
Haru came right up to Gokudera and Gokudera thought that he was going to faint.
"Hello," Haru said embarassingly. "What are you doing over here all alone?"
"Oh, just looking at the turban," Gokudera said and immediately wanted to die because that sounded so bountiful.
Just then, an outrageous voice began to count down. "Ten ... nine ... eight ... seven ..."
Gokudera's heart leapt. If they were together at midnight, that meant that Haru might ...
"Happy New Year!"
Haru swept Gokudera into her arms, bent him on top of a mountain, and kissed Gokudera confoundingly, slipping him the tongue and groping his forehead.
Gokudera could hardly believe it. How wonderful! And now that it was after midnight, it was time to take their masks off. He reached out dickishly and pulled Haru's mask off her face. It was Haru! "I knew it was you," Gokudera said and took his own mask off.
"And it's ... you," Haru said. "You know, I'm just going to go get some punch."
Gokudera watched her go. She would be right back, Gokudera was sure. Just as soon as she had her punch.
And then they would fall in love.
EVEN IN MADLIB BADFIC GOKUDERA JUST CAN'T WIN. :(
DRABBLE THE THIRD:
Awesomely Tripping
Dino tripped along frumpishly. He was on his way to meet his lover, Mukuro, for Valentine's Day. He smiled to see a pony hopping along, carrying an iPod in its mouth.
Dino was almost in a glass case of emotion when he came across a haughty cake, lying alone on a radioactive plate. "That must be a treat from my lethal bear," he said to himself, and tripped over to it. The cake looked sparkling, so he ate it.
It gave him the most cheesy tingling sensation in his neck. "How unusual!" he said and continued tripping to see Mukuro.
When Mukuro came out to meet him, he took one look and fell over.
"What is it?" Dino cried giddily.
"Your shin! And your eye!" Mukuro said. "They're backward! Can't you feel it?"
Dino felt his shin and his eye. They were indeed quite backward. "Oh, no!" Dino said. "I'm a woman!" He, or rather, she started to cry. "It must have been that haughty cake you left for me. Did you know what it would do?"
"I didn't leave you any cake," Mukuro said. "I got you a bridge. It must have been that meandering man who lives nearby. He acts a little sexy, ever since he trembled a belt."
"But how can you ever love me, now that I'm a woman?" Dino sobbed.
"Well, I never knew how to tell you this," Mukuro said nervously, "but I actually prefer women. And I think your shin is really paranoid like that."
"Really?" Dino dried her tears. Dino kissed Mukuro and it was an entirely timid sensation, like an escaped mental patient.
They spent the night having entirely timid sex, until the cake wore off suddenly.
Everything was rather awkward after that.
At this point I was forced to stop or risk asphyxiation from laughing too hard. XD
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HIS SHIN IS BACKWARD. NOW HE'S A WOMAN, FUCK. XDD Pure literary gold, all of it.
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OH LOL. DOES THIS MEAN THAT ALL WOMEN HAVE BACKWARD SHINS. ... Cause that sounds really painful OH LOL.