makeste: (GENKISHI used WALL!)
makeste ([personal profile] makeste) wrote2010-10-26 02:37 pm

Reborn! fic - Love is a Battlefield

This was a trick-or-treat dare from [livejournal.com profile] smilypie, who gave me a choice: Either go and find the most horrifying panels in KHR and make a picspam of them -OR- write an epic Wall8059 love triangle fic of love and angst. I was going to do the picspam, until I realized that hunting down all the pics would probably take even longer than just biting the bullet and doing the damn fic. XD So!

Title: Love is a Battlefield
Rating: PG-13 (for language)
Pairing: Wall8059
Notes/Warnings: See “pairing.” I think that says it all. Also, spoilers for chapter 295, so watch out.
Summary: Yamamoto, Gokudera, and the Wall. The love triangle showdown you know you secretly always wanted.



Wall waited with growing excitement as its prey approached the street corner. Any moment now, Yamamoto Takeshi, the love of its life and delight of its nonexistent eyes (Wall Joke!), would come blindly traipsing around the bend, plowing headfirst into the flat steely embrace that awaited him. Wall quivered with anticipation; it had been too long.

Soon, now, soon I’ll have him in my rectangular clutches once again, it thought to itself. Yamamoto came strolling around the corner and Wall sprung up eagerly, anticipating the inimitable feel of splattered human against its smooth level front. Any moment now… here he comes…!

“Go Go Gadget Springs!” said Yamamoto, and a pair of metal coils emerged suddenly from his heels. Shifting his weight, he bounded clear up and over the Wall like a human grasshopper.

God damn it, thought Wall, shaking a mental fist. Ever since the kid had gotten those robot legs, Wall had been getting blue-balled left and right.

This called for drastic measures.

---


“Look, Baseball Idiot, so help me, the next time I see your stupid face, I’m either going to punch it or make out with it, so which is it going to be?”

“Wow, Gokudera, that’s awfully forward of you,” Yamamoto laughed. Then, when Gokudera reared his fist back, he laughed again and held his hands out defensively. “Okay, okay! Well, make out, I guess!”

Gokudera proceeded to attack his lips like some sort of malnourished predator, and Yamamoto kissed him back while secretly trying to figure out if anyone had perhaps drugged his good friend, or replaced him with a pod person.

At last, Gokudera broke off and fixed Yamamoto with a particularly stern glare. “This never happened,” he declared as he gathered his things. “Same time tomorrow?”

“Okay, sure,” replied Yamamoto, who was now looking around the room attempting to spot any hidden cameras on the vague suspicion that this might be some sort of dare.

“Bye,” Gokudera said, slamming the door behind him. Yamamoto was left alone to ponder the whirlwind twists and turns of his love life.

---


The next day, while walking to school, he noticed a familiar shadow looming past the corner ahead. Looks like that Wall is back again, he thought to himself, and tried to quell the shivery little thrill that ran through him at the thought. You’re dating Gokudera now… apparently, he reminded himself. You’ll just have to tell Wall it’s over once and for all.

Steeling himself to do just that, he was thus blown away by the shock of the scene that greeted him when he rounded the corner. Wall was indeed waiting patiently for him there, its cool stone outline positively leering at him. And lying crumpled on the ground before that towering form, groaning softly and muttering vague curses in Italian, was Gokudera.

Rage flashed through Yamamoto like pure adrenaline. He darted forward, crouching beside his boyfriend-I-guess and looking him over quickly to see if there was any permanent damage. He looked pretty battered, with some decorative blood and scratches scattered here and there, but overall he didn’t seem too badly off. Breathing a sigh of relief, Yamamoto refocused his attention on the perpetrator of this violent act.

“You crossed the line,” he said quietly, reaching for Shigure Kintoki.

Wall teetered back-and-forth anxiously (think R2-D2 when he gets excited). I was only trying to prove my love to you, it seemed to be trying to say.

“If your business is with me, you talk to me,” Yamamoto replied coldly. “You don’t go around hurting my friends.”

He is not just a ‘friend’! I saw the two of you together last night! Wall made a sort of sniffling noise.

“That doesn’t give you the right to attack him!”

“Ugh… the fuck is going on?” Gokudera groaned, holding his head painfully and trying to sit up.

If I can’t have you, no one will! Wall declared hysterically.

“Wall, open your eyes! The two of us could have never worked out!”

We could have made it work! If you have love, you can make anything work!

“Are you talking to a fucking wall?” Gokudera said slowly, eyeing Yamamoto like he’d grown a second head.

We could have had everything, the two of us! We could have ruled the world! And yet you chose this… this bipedal humanoid over me?

“…Well, yeah,” Yamamoto said.

“Are you insane?!”

Are you insane?!

“You know, you two might get along better than you thought, if you tried,” Yamamoto said thoughtfully.

I’d rather diiiiiiiie! Wall shrieked, and started to charge. Feeling a pang of regret, Yamamoto closed his eyes solemnly and activated his Vongola Gear.

Two seconds later, the remains of his quadratic foe sat piled before him. A breeze picked up, and gently began to scatter the sandy debris across the wind.

Yamamoto bowed his head and held a moment of silence for the inanimate object that had stalked him for so long.

“God, you completely disintegrated it,” Gokudera grumbled beside him. “You’re so fucking overpowered these days it sickens me.”

Yamamoto laughed, and pulled him to his feet. “Yeah, I know.”

“Asshole. Come on, my clothes are all messed up, I gotta go change.”

Yamamoto chuckled and tottered after him, and together the two of them walked off to go have sexy victory hijinks, or something. The End.




Remember, kids, always eat your fruits and vegetables and drink plenty of water TO THE EXTREME.

[identity profile] snowpoison.livejournal.com 2010-10-26 06:39 pm (UTC)(link)
LOLOL I WAS LAUGHING AT THE FIRST SENTENCE.

LETMEGO AND FINISH THE FIC AND THEN I'LL COMMENT AGAIN 8DDD
o(>< )o o( ><)o

[identity profile] snowpoison.livejournal.com 2010-10-26 06:46 pm (UTC)(link)
OKOK TIME FOR THE REAL COMMENT. LETMEGO AND FIND SOME OF THE MOST MEMORABLE QOUTES OF THIS AWESOME CRACKTASTIC FIC:

Wall waited with growing excitement as its prey approached the street corner. Any moment now, Yamamoto Takeshi, the love of its life and delight of its nonexistent eyes (Wall Joke!), would come blindly traipsing around the bend, plowing headfirst into the flat steely embrace that awaited him. Wall quivered with anticipation; it had been too long.

Soon, now, soon I’ll have him in my rectangular clutches once again, it thought to itself. Yamamoto came strolling around the corner and Wall sprung up eagerly, anticipating the inimitable feel of splattered human against its smooth level front. Any moment now… here he comes…!

“Go Go Gadget Springs!” said Yamamoto, and a pair of metal coils emerged suddenly from his heels. Shifting his weight, he bounded clear up and over the Wall like a human grasshopper.

God damn it, thought Wall, shaking a mental fist. Ever since the kid had gotten those robot legs, Wall had been getting blue-balled left and right.

This called for drastic measures.

If I can’t have you, no one will! Wall declared hysterically.

“Wall, open your eyes! The two of us could have never worked out!”

We could have made it work! If you have love, you can make anything work!

“Are you talking to a fucking wall?” Gokudera said slowly, eyeing Yamamoto like he’d grown a second head.

We could have had everything, the two of us! We could have ruled the world! And yet you chose this… this bipedal humanoid over me?

Two seconds later, the remains of his quadratic foe sat piled before him. A breeze picked up, and gently began to scatter the sandy debris across the wind.

Yamamoto bowed his head and held a moment of silence for the inanimate object that had stalked him for so long.


LOL SORRY FOR COPYING AND PASTING THE WHOLE FIC BUT yeaaaaaaaaaaaah IT WAS THAT AWESOME. 8D RIP WALL

ζ~(∂_∂)~ζ

[identity profile] makeste.livejournal.com 2010-10-26 08:01 pm (UTC)(link)
LOL, I'M GLAD YOU LIKED IT. XD THANK YOU!

FRUITS! VEGETABLES! WATER! STAY HEALTHY TO THE EXTREME!

[identity profile] snowpoison.livejournal.com 2010-10-26 08:03 pm (UTC)(link)
LOL YOUR ICON MADE ME GIGGLE

YOU'RE MUCHLY WELCOME 8D *gawks at icon* I'M GLAD YOU ARE STILL REMINDING THE GENERAL LJ-ers TO STAY HEALTHY! *pat on your back*

o(>< )o o( ><)o

[identity profile] makeste.livejournal.com 2010-10-27 03:04 pm (UTC)(link)
HAHA, IT'S ONE OF MY FAVORITES. I LOVE HOW CONTENT YAMA AND DERA LOOK TO BE RIDING THE GIANT URI. XD

AND IT WAS A VERY ENTERTAINING TRICK WHILE IT LASTED, LOL. THOUGH I DO HAVE TO CONFESS I FEEL SOME RELIEF NOW THAT IT IS FINALLY WEDNESDAY AND I AM TWO OUT OF THREE DARES AWAY FROM BEING ABLE TO TYPE LIKE A NORMAL PERSON AGAIN. XD

[identity profile] snowpoison.livejournal.com 2010-10-27 07:51 pm (UTC)(link)
I'm sorry for spamming you dear :'(

I KNOW. YAMA'S SINGING A SONG, TOTALLY UNPHASED ABOUT RIDING ON GIANT URI 8DD I CAN ALREADY SEE A FIC COMING ALONG HERE: "So hay, baseball-idiot, you want a ride?" "Yeah, on what? Some white horse?" "No, stupid! URI." LOL. WHAT HAS THE WORLD COME TO

HAHA I DOUBT YOU'RE NORMAL ANYWAY, SO TYPING LIKE A NORMAL PERSON CAN BE MISLEADING if you know what i mean /o/

[identity profile] morgrix.livejournal.com 2010-10-26 07:02 pm (UTC)(link)
OMG! What. The. Fuck.

I started to laugh at Summary (or maybe a bit earlier, at Pairing).
This fic is amazing.

[identity profile] makeste.livejournal.com 2010-10-26 08:04 pm (UTC)(link)
I started to laugh at Summary (or maybe a bit earlier, at Pairing).

YEAH, IT'S HARD TO GO WRONG WITH A PAIRING LIKE THAT. XD HEH, GLAD YOU LIKED IT! AND REMEMBER TO EAT YOUR FRUITS AND VEGETABLES AND DRINK PLENTY OF WATER TO THIS EXTREME! THESE DARES ARE TURNING ME INTO RYOHEI ORZ.

[identity profile] morgrix.livejournal.com 2010-10-26 10:10 pm (UTC)(link)
HAHAHA 8D

I'm loving these tricks!!! They are so fun!!!

(But I'm afraid of doing then though)

[identity profile] morgrix.livejournal.com 2010-10-26 10:14 pm (UTC)(link)
#english fail in the last post. I hope you don't mind it T_T

[identity profile] makeste.livejournal.com 2010-10-27 03:02 pm (UTC)(link)
(NO WORRIES; LORD KNOWS I MAKE ENOUGH TYPOS MYSELF, HEH.) YEAH, THEY REALLY ARE FUN, IF A LITTLE TIME-CONSUMING, LOL. AND OF COURSE, OCCASIONALLY YOU END UP TYPING LIKE A BOXER-TURNED-NUTRITIONIST, BUT THAT'S ALL PART OF THE FUN TOO. XD

[identity profile] dame-batsie.livejournal.com 2010-10-26 07:13 pm (UTC)(link)
THIS IS A MASTERPIECE IN THE HALL OF FAME OF MASTERPIECES. lol isn't sad that I was rooting for Wall? Poor Wall. He'll erect again. ho ho ho, see what I did there?

[identity profile] makeste.livejournal.com 2010-10-26 08:06 pm (UTC)(link)
THANK YOU VERY MUCH! AND NO, NOT SAD AT ALL; I THINK DEEP DOWN, WE WERE ALL ROOTING FOR WALL. FUCK THAT GOKUDERA AND HIS STUPID COCKBLOCKING FACE. 8|

EAT YOUR FRUITS AND VEGETABLES AND DRINK WATER BLAH BLAH HEALTH TO THE EXTREME.
way2dawn: Riku smiling on the Dark Beach (Yamamoto/porn lol)

[personal profile] way2dawn 2010-10-26 09:28 pm (UTC)(link)
Looooooooooooooooooooooooool. Everything about this was hilariously awesome.

[identity profile] makeste.livejournal.com 2010-10-26 11:28 pm (UTC)(link)
THANK YOU, GLAD YOU LIKED IT. :)

EAT YOUR FRUITS AND VEGETAAAAABLESSSS

DRINK LOTS OF WATER!!!

TO THE EXTREME

WHOA.

[identity profile] smilypie.livejournal.com 2010-10-26 09:44 pm (UTC)(link)
This was so beautiful. You captured Wall so well...this dialogue was magnificent..And the way Yamamoto was able to respond to him...they were like soul mates. *tears up a bit*

/SHOT. Okay seriously this was everything I expected and more, muahaha XD And while the romance was SO WONDERFUL, I think I loved parts like

“God, you completely disintegrated it,” Gokudera grumbled beside him. “You’re so fucking overpowered these days it sickens me.”

Yamamoto laughed, and pulled him to his feet. “Yeah, I know.”


the most pffffft. We all know it's so true. Oh those two.

But Wall...what a tragic end D'8

TEEHEE

[identity profile] makeste.livejournal.com 2010-10-26 11:38 pm (UTC)(link)
HAHA, I'M GLAD YOU LIKED IT. AND THANKS FOR SUCH AN AWESOME DARE. :D

LOL, I THINK I HAD MORE FUN WRITING PARTS LIKE THE ONE YOU QUOTED THAN THE WALL STUFF. WRITING A SUPERPOWERED YAMA IS KIND OF LIKE THERAPY AFTER THE RECENT CHAPTERS.

ARE YOU EATING YOUR FRUITS AND VEGETABLES AND DRINKING PLENTY OF WATER TO THE EXTREME?! I HOPE YOU ARE ♥

WHOA MAN

[identity profile] smilypie.livejournal.com 2010-10-27 12:20 am (UTC)(link)
LOL, no problem 8D &hearts

Yeah, I miss Yama being all Godmodey 8'C So this was very refreshing<3

Re: WHOA MAN

[identity profile] makeste.livejournal.com 2010-10-27 03:06 pm (UTC)(link)


I MISS GODMODEY YAMA TOO. AS INTERESTING AS ALL THE RESULTING DRAMA HAS BEEN, I HOPE HE MAKES A COMEBACK BEFORE TOO LONG.

[identity profile] melissa-42.livejournal.com 2010-10-26 10:47 pm (UTC)(link)
Yes please to Yama's robolegs! XD

[identity profile] makeste.livejournal.com 2010-10-26 11:40 pm (UTC)(link)
ALL JOKING ASIDE, THE ROBOT LEGS ARE PRETTY MUCH MY HEADCANON, ESPECIALLY SINCE COYOTE HAS ALREADY SET A PRECEDENT. HOPEFULLY AMANO WILL NOT DISAPPOINT.

REMEMBER, YAMAMOTO, TO AID YOUR RECOVERY, BE SURE TO EAT PLENTY OF FRUITS AND VEGETABLES AND DRINK LOTS OF WATER TO THE EXTREME.

[identity profile] kuliise.livejournal.com 2010-10-27 01:59 am (UTC)(link)
PFFFFF 8'DDD

....8'DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

...../dies of laughter

[identity profile] makeste.livejournal.com 2010-10-27 02:55 pm (UTC)(link)
LOL, GLAD YOU LIKED IT. ♥

[identity profile] celestes55.livejournal.com 2010-10-27 02:50 am (UTC)(link)
I lol'd at the robot legs, and then got kinda depressed at the implications of what that means after Yamamoto gets out of the hospital, *sniffle*. But then you followed that up with

“Look, Baseball Idiot, so help me, the next time I see your stupid face, I’m either going to punch it or make out with it, so which is it going to be?”

and I died. This is so awesome.


[identity profile] makeste.livejournal.com 2010-10-27 02:58 pm (UTC)(link)
YEAH, IT'S KIND OF AWESOME-YET-BITTERSWEET. BARRING SOME MIRACULOUS AND SOMEWHAT UNBELIEVABLE RECOVERY, THOUGH, IT'S WHERE I'M BETTING CANON IS HEADED. AT LEAST, I HOPE SO (WHEELCHAIRMOTO WOULD BE COOL AND ALL, BUT THE IDEA OF HIM NEVER BEING ABLE TO PLAY BASEBALL AGAIN MAKES ME CRY).

GLAD YOU LIKED IT, HEH. THANKS FOR THE COMMENT! ♥

[identity profile] azartti.livejournal.com 2010-10-27 05:07 am (UTC)(link)
You never stop to amaze me with so many LOLWTFFFFFOHGODLOLOLOL all together in the same thought.

I KEPT LAUGHING LIKE A HYENA, YOU WIN.

[identity profile] makeste.livejournal.com 2010-10-27 02:58 pm (UTC)(link)
HAHA, GLAD IT MADE YOU LAUGH. THANK YOU! ♥

[identity profile] amcw177.livejournal.com 2010-10-27 07:59 am (UTC)(link)
THIS. IT IS MADE OF EPIC LULZ. XD I can't say more because I'm still laughing ROFL You win at everything EVER.

[identity profile] makeste.livejournal.com 2010-10-27 02:59 pm (UTC)(link)
THANK YOU! ♥ GLAD YOU LIKED IT, HEH.

[identity profile] teruame.livejournal.com 2010-10-27 05:06 pm (UTC)(link)
Darn you...how do you manage to write humor so well, and angst and gen in the process? (Down the Stairs, Brand New Sky, etc.) -is very envious of you now, because she likes this a lot- 8DDD

Wonderful work. :) I love your sense of humor and capacity towards words. XD

[identity profile] makeste.livejournal.com 2010-10-28 01:02 am (UTC)(link)
Well, humor is actually easier to write than angst for me. I can crank out a one-shot like this in an hour or two, but a serious fic of the same length would probably take weeks (and would need a hell of a lot more betaing to get right). But I'm very glad you like my fics regardless of the genre, heh. :)

Thank you so much! ♥

[identity profile] mizaki-kurosaki.livejournal.com 2010-10-27 10:45 pm (UTC)(link)
Lolz this was awesome I love every part XDDD so this is what Smileh dared you huh I must pay her back ^^ when I see her lolz BUT THIS IS LIKE THE BEST FRIGGIN FIC I HAVE EVER READ IN REBORN YOUR LIKE A GOD TO ME RIGHT NOW awesome job :3

[identity profile] makeste.livejournal.com 2010-10-28 01:03 am (UTC)(link)
Thank you! ♥ YES, THIS WAS SMILEY'S AWESOME DARE, SO AT THE END OF THE DAY SHE IS ENTIRELY TO BLAME FOR THIS. But I'm really glad you liked it, heh!

[identity profile] ojuzu.livejournal.com 2010-10-28 12:48 am (UTC)(link)
GO GO GADGET SPRINGS. THAT IS ALL. :DDDDD

. . . except for Wall. Oh, Wall. ;_; Such a tragic ending! And omg you gave him robot legs, HOW COOL IS THAT. also please write a story all about the robot legs at some point

[identity profile] makeste.livejournal.com 2010-10-28 01:09 am (UTC)(link)
THE ROBOT LEGS ARE TOTALLY MY HEADCANON UNTIL AMANO SAYS OTHERWISE. Well, either that or they give him a robot spine. The Vongola presumably have the best medical minds in the business on their paycheck (for canon proof of this I look to my dear Coyote Nougat), so ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE.

i-is it sad that I have already considered doing this. XD But I'm already working on two other super-long angsty Yamamoto stories, though, so I figured I should stop getting ahead of myself.

[identity profile] chibikaya.livejournal.com 2010-10-29 05:40 am (UTC)(link)
OH MY GOD I LOL'D LIKE THERE WAS NO TOMORROW

THIS IS A-MAZING.

[identity profile] chibikaya.livejournal.com 2010-10-29 05:41 am (UTC)(link)
Soon, now, soon I’ll have him in my rectangular clutches once again, it thought to itself.

I LOST IT HERE AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

[identity profile] makeste.livejournal.com 2010-10-29 05:57 pm (UTC)(link)
THE EVILEST TYPE OF CLUTCHES IMAGINABLE.

Haha, thank you! Glad you liked it. :D

[identity profile] doomcake.livejournal.com 2010-10-29 05:59 am (UTC)(link)
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA I finally got a chance to read this (I'M SORRY ;A;/), and I can't help but sit here cackling!! ajskdlf hahahaha THIS IS SO BRILLIANTLY CRACKY, I forgot how much I've missed good lolarious crack!fic. SO MUCH LMAO & ROFL, thank you for sharing it!!! ♥

... *still cackling, brb*

[identity profile] makeste.livejournal.com 2010-10-29 06:10 pm (UTC)(link)
Thank youuu. ♥ Haha, glad you liked it! (--and that reminds me, didn't you post another update to AtU like WEEKS AGO that I still haven't read? orz, as soon as all of this trick or treat madness is over, I seriously have to check that out.)