makeste: (I'M A SHAAAAAARK)
makeste ([personal profile] makeste) wrote2010-11-18 02:45 pm

Reborn! fic - Slap Bet

Chapter 315 review is forthcoming, though I might not get to it until tomorrow due to unavoidable circumstances such as SEEING HARRY FUCKING POTTER AT MIDNIGHT TONIGHT, FUCK YEAH.

Anyway, I've been watching too much How I Met Your Mother recently, and, well...

Title: Slap Bet
Rating: PG-13 (for language and comedic violence)
Characters: Ryohei, Aoba Koyo, and assorted others.
Notes/Warnings: Like, mad spoilers right up through the latest chapters, yo.
Summary: How Ryohei and Aoba’s battle should have gone.

“I propose,” proposed Aoba, “a slap bet.”

“A slap bet?!” shouted Ryohei, looking fiercely inspired. “What an extreme twist! That’s extremely better than what I was going to say!”

“What were you going to say?” Aoba inquired.

“I was going to say BOXING to the extreme!”

“I see. Well, then you’re right—mine is better.”

“Okay, will somebody explain to me what a slap bet is?” asked Tsuna, looking a little sheepish, but mostly just shocked (offended, even) that Ryohei knew something that he didn’t.

“I’ll explain, Tenth!” chirruped Gokudera. “A slap bet is when two guys make a wager, but instead of gambling money, they agree that the winner gets to slap the loser as hard as he can in the face with no consequences afterward.”

“SO EXTREME!!” said Ryohei, who apparently hadn’t known what a slap bet was after all.

“This is my pride, Sasagawa Ryohei,” declared Aoba, adjusting his glasses with a finger. “Do you agree to these terms?”

“Koyo…” Ryohei bit his lip to stop his manly emotions from bursting every which way. “IT’S A BET, TO THE EXTREME!”

They shook on it.

“So what the hell are you betting on, anyway?” Gokudera asked reasonably (prolonged exposure to Aoba and Ryohei has a tendency to make anyone feel extra-specially reasonable in comparison).

Aoba and Ryohei exchanged glances, then “um…”s.

“How about best three out of five?” Reborn suggested. “You can decide on each individual wager as the rest of the battles continue. And in the meantime, Koyo can tag along with us.”

And that was how the Fellowship of the Vongola Rings acquired one more temporary member.


“Lambo... and Large!” gasped Tsuna from within the little stone dome he, Gokudera, Ryohei, Reborn, and Aoba were all now crouching in.

“Oh, excellent,” said Aoba delightedly. He turned to Ryohei. “One slap says Large trashes the kid in less than five minutes.”

“That’s not something I want you betting on!!” Tsuna squeaked.

“You’re on!” said Ryohei fervently.

They watched with bated breath as Lambo walked around demanding that Large play with him, smugly insisting that Large was his subordinate, and just generally making a nuisance of himself while apparently living in some sort of delusional world. Eventually, Large seemed to tire of this and punted Lambo out of their sumo ring.

Yes!” Aoba roared, pumping a fist in the air. Before the dust had even settled, he turned toward Ryohei with a look of malevolent triumph. “Prepare to taste my palm of victory, Ryohei!” And without further ado, he slapped the Sun Guardian so hard his grandchildren felt it.

“Wait,” said Reborn since he was apparently the only one still paying attention to Lambo’s fight. “You shouldn’t be so quick to jump to conclusions.”

As the dust cleared to reveal TYL!Lambo, the characters all predictably gasped in shock.

“Wait a sec!” said Gokudera. “That means Aoba slapped Ryohei even though he didn’t win the bet! Shouldn’t there be some sort of penalty for that?”

“As an impartial judge,” said Reborn, who was anything but, “I rule that Ryohei may give Aoba Koyo two slaps in retaliation.”

What—” was all that Aoba managed to say before Ryohei turned eagerly toward him and slapped him so hard his great-grandchildren felt it. As Aoba sat up, tears involuntarily springing from his eyes, Ryohei backfisted him again, this time sending him crashing right through the stone arches of their little alcove, and into the middle of Large’s sumo ring.

“HIIIEEEEEK!” shrieked Tsuna while Gokudera swore like a dying sailor. Both of them ducked and frantically covered their heads, as if doing so would in any way help to ward off thousands of tons of crushing rock.

About a minute or so later, when it finally sunk in that nothing was actually happening, everyone turned toward Large with dubious expressions.

“…Okay, you got me,” Large said. “The dome won’t actually collapse if you break that wall there.”

“I thought that seemed kind of convenient,” mused Gokudera, nodding his head.


THE MATCH HAS ENDED, the Vindice announced once TYL!Lambo had finally finished kicking Large’s ass. THEREFORE, WE SHALL LEAVE BEHIND THE FIRST KEY THAT WAS GIVEN TO US BY COZART AND GIOTTO.

As the Vindice leader tossed Cozart’s wallet in their general direction indifferently, Aoba turned to Ryohei, hungry for redemption, and declared, “I bet this flashback will prove once and for all just how much of a giant dick your boss was!”

“I’ll take that bet to the—” Ryohei replied before said flashback intervened, cutting off his last word (spoilers: it was ‘extreme’).

One sparkly handshake later, the flashback faded away and a sour-faced Aoba turned toward Ryohei to face his destiny like a man.

Ryohei slapped him. A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away, Obi-Wan Kenobi felt a disturbance in the Force.


“I’ll tell you my pride!” said Gokudera, staring down Shitt P with the intensity of a child waiting for the clock to strike 3 p.m. on the last day of school.

“I already know,” replied Shitt P. “It’s—”

“WAIT,” exclaimed Aoba. “I know this one too! In the end, your pride is being a subordinate of the Vongola Tenth! Am I right? Am I right??”

“That’s… what I was going to say too,” acknowledged Shitt P.

They both turned toward Gokudera.

“Well… yeah!” said Gokudera, looking a little thrown but defiantly pushing through. “Being a guardian and serving Tenth is my pride!”

“I KNEW IT!” screamed Aoba victoriously, and without wasting a second more, he spun toward Ryohei and slapped him so hard Yamamoto woke up from his coma.


“We’re tied for slaps!” Aoba announced once Gokudera had finished defeating Shitt P (you call it wishful thinking; I call it LA LA LA I CAN’T HEAR YOU).

“Your first slap didn’t count,” Gokudera pointed out.

“So in the end, it comes down to this,” Aoba continued, the very picture of the la la la technique. “That oldest and grandest of mafia traditions. The coin toss.”

Tsuna opened his mouth and then shut it again, deciding there were some mafia traditions he just needed to learn to roll with.

“ARE YOU READY, RYOHEI?!” Aoba shouted, holding the 100-yen piece with something like reverence.

“I’M READY TO THE EXTREME!” Ryohei answered, positively shaking with anticipation.

Aoba flipped the coin.


“HEADS!!” Ryohei screamed.

All eyes watched as the coin that carried their fates spun through in the air. In dramatic slow motion, it arced toward the floor, then landed with a tinny sound…

…right on its edge.

“Son of a—” began Aoba before he was interrupted by flashes of lightning and dramatic black text bubbles.


Before anyone could protest, chains appeared out of nowhere and dragged Ryohei and Aoba away.

Fucking hell,” said Gokudera once they had all finished standing there in shock.

“Eh. It could have been worse,” said Reborn.

“Ryohei and Koyo just got dragged off to a hell prison because of a coin toss!” said Tsuna in disbelief. “How the heck could it be any worse?

“It could have been worse,” Reborn said again, and shuddered.

Seriously, man. They got off easy this time.

Happy Slapsgiving, everyone!

[identity profile] 2010-11-18 07:59 pm (UTC)(link)
Ryohei slapped him. A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away, Obi-Wan Kenobi felt a disturbance in the Force.

“I KNEW IT!” shouted Aoba victoriously, and without wasting a second more, he spun toward Ryohei and slapped him so hard Yamamoto woke up from his coma.


“We’re tied for slaps!” Aoba announced once Gokudera had finished defeating Shitt P (you call it wishful thinking; I call it LA LA LA I CAN’T HEAR YOU).
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. (I'm resigned, myself.)

[identity profile] 2010-11-18 08:28 pm (UTC)(link)
I was originally going to end this fic with a double KO slap, but I abandoned that idea because I ran out of slap jokes. XD

(I'm resigned, myself.)

Canon keeps giving all these little hints that he's doomed (the fact that his win would put the Vongola in the lead and HEAVEN FORBID that should happen; the fact that Amano got rid of the C.A.I. presumably because with it he could have destroyed every one of those balloons in a matter of seconds), but it makes me too sad to think about. ESPECIALLY WITH HIS RIGHT HAND MAN PRIDE ON THE LINE. COME ON, KID, YOU CAN STILL PULL THROUGH. >_>

[identity profile] 2010-11-19 03:08 pm (UTC)(link)
Oh, that really does put a sad spin on the "Gokudera loses" scenario ... HAHAHAHAHA. Sorry, imagining Gokudera's face. hahahahaaaaa

But if he does lose, it's totally going to be a noble sacrifice. I dunno, he has to fling himself in front of Lambo/Tsuna/Reborn's lazy butt at a critical moment and forgo a win. possibly Shitt P will get to go "See, you should totes fight for yourself", but the Vongola will shoujo sparkle at each other and know he's done the right thing.

[identity profile] 2010-11-19 06:42 pm (UTC)(link)
Oh, that really does put a sad spin on the "Gokudera loses" scenario ... HAHAHAHAHA.


Sorry, imagining Gokudera's face.

Trying... not to laugh... damn it!

Fffff but however he does end up losing (sob), I want it to be in a way where Shitt P realizes she was wrong about Gokudera and LOVE AND FRIENDSHIP ARE BEAUTIFUL THINGS AND IT IS TOTALLY OKAY TO PUT YOUR MOST IMPORTANT PEOPLE FIRST IF THEIR HAPPINESS IS WHAT MAKES YOU HAPPY AND THEY WERE THE ONES WHO TAUGHT YOU HOW TO HAVE PRIDE AND CONFIDENCE IN YOURSELF IN THE FIRST PLACE. Because I am petty and I want him to be vindicated and to be all "IN YOUR FACE, I WAS RIGHT!" except, you know, without being a jackass about it. XD just occurred to me that my desire to see Gokudera win is not so much about improving his win/loss record or having him not go off to prison as it is just about seeing him get to be right for once. As a character who's made so many mistakes in the past, he's earned the right to have a smart moment where he's cool and dignified and in control and actually teaches another character to see the light for once. HE'S BEEN JESUSED SO MANY TIMES; IT IS TIME FOR HIM TO FINALLY TAKE A STEP UP. TIME FOR HIM TO DO THE JESUSING.

Prepare to taste my palm of victory

[identity profile] 2010-11-18 08:07 pm (UTC)(link)
LOL. Was grinning like a loon throughout all of this.
Reborn's got quite an imagination at the end. Nice work xDD

Lucky... I have to play in the opera and won't get to see it for a while T___T sobs in a corner.


[identity profile] 2010-11-18 08:39 pm (UTC)(link)
Reborn may not have Byakuran and Uni's parallel world-spying ability, but he's familiar enough with the fourth wall that I'm sure he knows enough about the original Aoba/Ryohei fight to dread it. XD

And aww, that sucks. :( *PAT PAT* I hope you can see it soon? ;;

This was legen--wait for it...

[identity profile] 2010-11-18 08:09 pm (UTC)(link)



You, ma'am, win the Internets.


[identity profile] 2010-11-18 08:41 pm (UTC)(link)
*makes a note to thank Barney Stinson in my Internets acceptance speech* :'D

Haha, glad you liked it! <3

[identity profile] 2010-11-18 08:28 pm (UTC)(link)

I lol'd. This fic is pure win.

[identity profile] 2010-11-18 08:42 pm (UTC)(link)

Heh, thank you! ♥
way2dawn: Riku smiling on the Dark Beach (Gokudera/bullets'll get me before cancer)

[personal profile] way2dawn 2010-11-18 10:23 pm (UTC)(link)
I love your complete disregard for the fourth wall :D

once Gokudera had finished defeating Shitt P (you call it wishful thinking; I call it LA LA LA I CAN’T HEAR YOU)

Oh man, this. So much this.

[identity profile] 2010-11-19 06:20 pm (UTC)(link)
Let's face it, fourth walls are becoming a thing of the past. We don't need them in this bold new modern age.

*sits in a corner with fingers in ears focusing on all the awesome things Gokudera did in the recent chapter while ignoring the direction the plot tides are turning in* >_>

[identity profile] 2010-11-18 11:21 pm (UTC)(link)
Is it sad that I can actually see this as a plausible alternative to their boxing match? XDD

[identity profile] 2010-11-19 06:21 pm (UTC)(link)
Well, if any characters in KHR ever did make a slap bet, it would probably be those two. XD

[identity profile] 2010-11-19 03:32 am (UTC)(link)
Oh Gokkun, your pride is so blaringly apparent that AOBA can guess it D:. BE VERY ASHAMED.

And the part about the cave not actually collapsing is win. Oh Large you big big liar.

[identity profile] 2010-11-19 06:26 pm (UTC)(link)
I suppose it was his lack of shame which led to him boasting about his PRIDE AS THE RIGHT HAND MAN OF THE VONGOLA TENTH to anyone with a pair of ears, so that's probably good advise. XD OR IF YOU'RE NOT GOING TO BE ASHAMED ABOUT IT, AT LEAST TRY BEING MORE DISCRETE.

Next time, instead of lying, he should try just politely asking the others to butt out of the fight. IT WOULDN'T ACTUALLY WORK, but well, at least he'd still have his integrity. XD

[identity profile] 2010-11-19 05:15 am (UTC)(link)
... I think I love you so much my great-great-great grandchildren will feel it.

[identity profile] 2010-11-19 06:27 pm (UTC)(link)
Lol, my own great-great-great-great-grandchildren thank you for this comment because it made them ridiculously happy. |D ♥!


(Anonymous) 2010-11-20 05:11 am (UTC)(link)
Srsly, all your crack fics are mindblowing. I was this close to laughing hysterically in the library

Re: X_X

[identity profile] 2010-11-25 05:06 am (UTC)(link)
Haha, thank you! Glad you liked it. ♥

(Anonymous) 2011-03-12 12:36 pm (UTC)(link)
Really funny stuff especially when Yamamoto woke up from his coma, though I shouldn't laugh to much though as I seem to be the only person in the world who actually enjoyed the original fight. Still it's an good thing you didn't end it in a double knock out or in some parallel universe Byakuran might have felt it and regained his abilities :)

[identity profile] 2011-03-17 02:12 am (UTC)(link)
Thank you! The actual fight did have its moments, and I'll admit it's much more enjoyable on a reread (when you're not waiting week after week for updates only to find yet another chapter of I PUNCH YOU NOW I PUNCH YOU BACK AND THIS FIGHT'S STILL NOT OVER SOMEHOW!), but that alone will never stop me from poking fun at it, sorry to say. XD And lol, double slap knockout... now I kind of regret not doing that. Oh well. XDD

Thanks again for the comment! ♥

(Anonymous) 2011-03-18 10:04 pm (UTC)(link)
That's fine, and I'll continue to poke fun at Gokudera vs Shitt.P or ''Suicide Kitty Balloon Battle'' XDD. Anyway everyone has their own preferences. Personally although I like the rapid plot twists of recent chapters I'd rather wait patiently through longer fights and have every character get a fair chance to develop.

[identity profile] 2011-03-21 12:11 am (UTC)(link)
That's fine, and I'll continue to poke fun at Gokudera vs Shitt.P or ''Suicide Kitty Balloon Battle'' XDD

And rightfully so. XD

I think there are advantages and disadvantages to most shounen battles, really, but yeah, everyone will inevitably have their own preferences. For really it's not really the character development that makes or breaks a battle for me--I think KHR generally has pretty good character development regardless, which is the main reason I still adore the series despite its magnificent flaws--but the type of action/strategy that's involved in it. I like it when things gets creative and a little more suspenseful/unpredictable, but we haven't seen that as much in this arc (which is understandable, because it's hard to keep coming up with fresh idea after fresh idea). (I wonder sometimes if Amano's been shying away from her more elaborate fights since Choice started out so promisingly but fizzled out so anticlimactically. Ah, well.)

I do have to agree that good character development and a longer, more focused fight is ideal, though. Lambo's fight ended up being my favorite in this arc so far for that very reason. Still, though, I miss the days when the development is combined with action that's well-drawn and really entertaining to read. Yamamoto vs Squalo is probably the best example, and by far my favorite fight in the series. I'm still hoping we'll see something like that again one of these days. :)

(Anonymous) 2011-03-22 09:46 am (UTC)(link)
It's true the series goes from having unbelievable highs to face palming lows (luckily more of the former) and I would say even since the beginning of the future arc it became more and more about random power ups and less about strategy. Not that that was a bad thing (because the different flame types and TYLisms brought a new element that made the series exciting) but around about Choice I to was begging to hark back to the Varia arc.
On the subject of Reborn fights, one of the reasons I feel this series works for a wide range of people is because all the guardians bring a different fighting style/weapon unlike say Bleach where it’s all sword. For example where I'm guessing you prefer strategy over turf tops or baseball idiots = Gokudera, I like nothing better than an over the top martial arts match = Ryohei (sometimes Hibari if I'm feeling generous), so the series caters for all needs. Of course this doesn’t mean we don't enjoy the other fights and in fact I was really looking forwards to Goku vs Shitt.P but it ended way too quickly and out of nowhere which I guess you can at least say was original. Incidentally the length of recent fights have been all over the place. Even the super-hyped Hibari vs Adelheid seemed to lose steam once Hibari did what he always does :(
I still maintain high hopes for Tsuna vs Enma though, but anyway sorry for the extremely long post. Oh also I just checked and if you count pre-fight taunting (which I always factor in :D) Yamamoto vs Squalo was six chapters long with plenty of is he dead yet moments :)